Personal

The Right Kind of Self-Love

Self-love is pretty big these days. I must say though, that it’s starting to blur a line between love and pride. I know cause I just recently realized that myself. I started creating a life that is entirely up to me and still find myself fall short. These days my head is much clearer and I am beginning to see things in a bigger picture. I am healing myself in any way possible by letting go of things, people, and emotions no longer making me feel like me. I just want to share some of the lessons I am just starting to grasp and apply in my life. I hope you still have time because I am sure this will help you somehow.

The right kind of self-love makes you RESPECT YOURSELF.

You are so much more than what the people around you is trying to turn you into, and yet as we all know the worst enemy is our brain. Respecting yourself means choosing your battles and choosing the words we listen and believe to. If you find yourself compromising or pretending to only like something just because everyone’s doing it, even though deep inside you don’t feel comfortable doing it, you are disrespecting yourself. There’s a difference in being adventurous and fun and being a doormat of other people’s opinions of you. Respect yourself and know what you really want and don’t stray away from it just to feel validated.

The right kind of self-love makes you FORGIVE YOURSELF

No one’s perfect, but with all the well-curated, edited photos from all the Instagram posts you furiously scroll all day, you kind of think that somehow one magic filter will make your life perfect, or at least look perfect. No one really tells you that loving yourself means you can forgive yourself for not putting on makeup all week or saying no to a party because you want a whole day all to yourself and watch Harry Potter reruns, don’t you? Now, I’m telling you, it’s okay. Forgive yourself for not being perfect and not wanting to be one. You are entirely up to you. If you hate yourself just because you feel inadequate, it will show. I know this one’s a tough call but, you can actually forgive yourself for all the things you did and did not do. Use those so called “mistakes” as lessons, and create a better version of you.

And YOU CAN FORGIVE OTHERS

I don’t know what you went through, and I don’t know what you are going through right now. I still have a lot of people to forgive in my life as well. Every day, you can choose to forgive, it’s a really fragile that word is, but still try to do so. Hate is a double-edged sword. Hate makes you overlook the good things in life. Forgive others because you love yourself and you are worth all the good things in life.

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE

Even if the world likes label, you can still choose to step out of the stereotypes. Choose your own adjectives. I had a friend who told me that I cannot go back to who I was, and maybe that’s correct, or maybe he just wants me to be sad, I don’t know, but as far as I know, he’s still out there always mad, always have something to fight about. If the world broke you, there’s nothing wrong with going back and remembering the good things. Chances are you are still that same person, only wiser and stronger.

Most importantly, DO WHAT TRULY MAKES YOU HAPPY

I like stalking celebrities’ accounts and I sometimes feel like I have to act or be like them to be happy. Guess what? I don’t and you don’t. Sure, I still check their accounts sometimes on a daily basis (yes, I am guilty of that) but I realized that I still want to be my authentic self. I am not a celebrity but I am special too. I have my own ideas, I have my own life and I think now, it’s my turn to color it wild wild colors imaginable.

Now, it’s your turn too!

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Personal

I told my mom about my depression

it was just a normal day of dissonance with the current situation I am in and basically I was crying and holed in my room waiting for the feeling to subside. Thirty minutes and my eyes are bloodshot and sent a message to my mother who is downstairs at that moment. I couldn’t tell it at first, she went upstairs and I can see she’s worried. Like a normal person should she told me not to be sad and we all know, it’s the worst thing you could say to someone who is in the same boat. I, then made her read what “depression” is. I am glad that my mother is sensitive enough and has at least an idea of what it is. She told me how she can help and if I might need a doctor, I told her, no net yet, not as of the moment, I already have someone helping me. She is basically just as sad as I am about it but she’s so sympathetic. One of my greatest fear is someone I love rejecting me once they find out about it, like some former friend of me did. Not that I blame her, but I realized that if someone really cares about you, they wouldn’t bat an eye on what you have. My mother has asthma, and I told her that it’s just like that. There are days that you can get through it, then there are days you cannot and I am so glad she understands.

I skipped work today. I started working again 3 weeks ago but then I don’t think it’s working out so my mother gave her blessing that I should stop and rest for another month or two and I think this time, I definitely will. There are things I really want to let go and learn (and series to finish too!)

I know, unlike others, this won’t be as easy as how my parents handled it, but if you can open to someone who really show their love, or someone you are sharing a house with, they should know. They will understand you a little better and won’t judge you why you could be a little too emotional sometimes. It will give you peace, too. I used to feel guilty of staying at home and doing nothing. Guess what, I am going to let go of that too.

 

I am healing, and I am loving myself every day. You should, too.

 

Geo

Favorites, Personal, Travel

Pink Skies and No More Lies

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Shoot location: Azumi Boutique Hotel

I’ve been living life lately as low-key as possible. Not because I am a celebrity but it’s due to the fact that one of the main reasons of a person’s unhappiness is comparing themselves to every people around them. It’s easy doing that mistake these days, with all the different social media platforms where people create online personas and sharing is easier and faster than turning on a microwave. It’s easy for us to think that we are left out and that we are no longer relevant, FOMO is real, isn’t it?I must admit that for the past few months my unhappiness came from wanting to covet too much. I just discovered the love for shoes and I am telling you, it’s really satisfying getting one after another.

We recently went to Baguio, the summer capital of the Philippines, and tried to live a local. We rented a condo that is a 10-15 minutes away from the city, cooked our own meals and promised to be present in the moment rather than constantly checking our social medias . It was actually liberating and very humbling. I am an only child and my mother still does everything for me and cooking my own dinner is actually a big deal for me. It was just three days but I already can’t wait for the next one and honestly, I feel like they trust me more now. I still have some goals about this, I really want to try to live on my own for 6 months to a year or even longer, but I heard no man is island, so we’ll see 😉

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Baguio

The year just started and I feel like this is really a good year. I must admit I’m not the most positive person you’ll meet. I easily get irritated and disappointed but I am doing my best to stay above the waters. I just really want to be happy and I don’t want to deny myself that. This trip to Baguio is just one of the many things I want to do this year and the money spent cannot be compared to the lessons and experiences I’ve learned so far.

I don’t like doing resolutions and I know it’s quite late but I just want to list down the things that I know will make me happy.

1. Let myself be happy with life regardless if things don’t go my way

2. Create content even if I’m afraid I will look naive or stupid –  I bully myself when it comes to my instagram and blog posts thinking I am not good enough, I will do my best to let go of that as well.

3. Just do things even if it seems scary and involves too much money – I am actually afraid of spending so much for something that I really like, thinking it won’t really end up enjoyable or worth it. How will I know if I won’t try, right? Experiences are vital than money I’ll just make sure my savings won’t be compromised.

I think that’s it for now, looks like this blog post is quite straight-forward, I hope that is fine with you, dear readers.

I am really happy I am writing again, I don’t have any specific theme at the moment but I think I will still continue regardless until I find my own voice.

Until then, you have a great day and let’s all follow the pursuits of our hears!

 

 

XOXO

Geo

 

Favorites, Personal

My January 2018 Favorites!

Time flies so fast, don’t you think?

Already 21 days after you pledged your resolutions (or not) , have you followed or already forget about them?

Personally, I only promised myself I will work out and eat healthy, which obviously I am not doing. Haha!

Anyway, this post is dedicated to my favorite things / people/ event or just anything I found myself loving for the past 21 days.

Let’s start!

1. GirlBoss by Sophia Amoruso

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GirlBoss by Sophia Amoruso available at Fullybooked , Keepsake Planner available at Fullybooked, Seattle’s Best Coffee Journal available at SBC upon completion of stickers.

January is quite a busy month for me so I wasn’t able to squeeze in a lot of reading time but this one is actually part self-help part-business and part-memoir and I am enjoying reading and even taking down notes. She has this very friendly voice yet full of hidden gems that are worth taking note of. I suggest this to anyone who is planning to start her own empire or just for those who want to take charge of their life and be their own #GirlBoss

2. Keepsake Daily Planner

This is my favorite planner out of the 3 I am using because of it’s very summer-y feel and sturdy material. The one below is from Seattle’s Best Coffee, it’s a very classy journal and I use them for my random thoughts.

3. Secosana Bags

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Secosana Bags available at SM Department stores

I am not really fan of bags like most girls, but I got these two for around Php2,000 which is actually a steal! I use the smaller one for daily use and the other one which can fit a lot of things, even 2 sets of clothes. Also, it’s my first time using black bags, and I think I will continue doing so. They looks so classy!

4. VANS sneakers

a. SK8 -HI Slim Zip Valentine

b. Vans Old Skool

I’ve been using this pair a lot of times because who wouldn’t love the pink linings and the pink heart!

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SK8 -HI Slim Zip Valentine Vans Old-Skool available at VANS.COM

They go so well with everything, from jeans to shorts and dresses.

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SK8 -HI Slim Zip Valentine available at VANS.COM

more reasons to wear your heart on your shoes? hope they restock other colors too with this design. I would love to have the black one with the red heart.

5. Nike AirForce 1

I’ve been dreaming of these shoes since last year! When I finally got it, I was actually over the moon (thanks Zalora! you actually have size) Nike AF 1 has been worn by a lot of iconic celebrities and they really look good AF(pun intended) in person and in photos. Dubbed as the “IT girl shoes” by Mega Magazine, this one is TDF.

I wear this with everything too, I am loving the new sporty trend actually. I think this one trend I am going to continue this year.

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Nike AirForce 1 Php 4,995. Nike Store
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Pink Mid Cut, Human Php899

Since AF 1 doesn’t have other colors available yet, I decided to get this one from a local brand at a very affordable price , and I am actually impressed with the quality and comfort! This is a good dupe and it looks good too.

Moving on, let’s go to my other “favorites”

My favorite movie I watched this month is actually quite surprising even for me.

6. Siargao directed by Paul Soriano

This movie will make you want to travel and never come back. It actually did it to me. The story line is simple and relateable, nothing gut-wrenching, just pure millennial goodness and our fear of commitment (but it’s true, isn’t it?)

I don’t want to spoil you guys, but you should watch this movie with an open heart

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Photo from @siargaothemovie instagram account

and lastly, the only show which actually made me sign up for Netflix

7. Riverdale

You don’t know who addicted I am with this series. It’s the best!

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Photo from @thecwriverdale instagram account

I am actually so invested and I don’t want it to end. I love Veronica and I have this huge crush with Jughead, Cheryl’s outfit are perfect too. But if I’ll be honest the best thing about it is the storyline, it will actually make you think.

All right, that’s it for January 2018!

Thanks for visiting my blog.

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Personal

Neon Lights and New Eyes

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Are you one of the few people who actually feel lost and confused about who they really are?

I believe at some point, everyone thinks they know what they want and where they are headed. And then, there’s that fork in the road and you suddenly feel lost. Some people luckily knows where they are and they just soldier on ; and then there are some who are having a hard time making a decision as they know it will drastically change everything – even them. It’s scary taking that first step into the unknown, isn’t it?

I used to believe I will grow up and change the world, even just a little of it. I was under the impression that wearing your heart on your sleeve is the only way to truly live as I want to fight the notion that we should be careful and that we shouldn’t trust the people around us. Well, I wanted to. I want to be connected with everyone, forgive, forget and just throw rainbows and smiles wherever I grow, heck, I even called myself sunshine girl. Guess what? That didn’t turn out fine.

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I was actually mad at the world. I went into hiatus for like a year, I avoided everyone and I know I lost some people I actually care about in the process. One thing I learned is that not all people have the patience with the sad ones. Some people can’t process that some cannot be forced to actually stay out and forget what makes them feel frustrated and lonely. And believe me, that’s the last thing they need, people giving up on them.

After some time, I went from ballistic to steady and I was thinking clearly again, and in that moment I know I am no longer the same person I used to be.

I became unaffected and detached. I felt nothing, saw nothing.

I did things out of sheer frustration.

And it’s not a pretty sight.

The thing is I know what is happening to me and I am more than determined to get back on my feet again. I realized I may not be the same person but I shouldn’t let the pain and mistakes get the best of me. I was never a quitter.

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I actually wanted to try again. Same goals, same mindset and no, it’s not going to work. You know why? Because it’s no longer me. I recognized that humans are really bound to change no matter how much we try to stay the same. We will die if we don’t try to at least try new things, the suffocation will eat us.

 

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It sounds easy, but it was not. I started thinking differently, even thoughts I never know I could. I never thought I could actually feel more like myself than I did two years ago. I am not bothered with the same things anymore and I now know what I want (not everything, but quite!)  I can actually say “no” to things I am not really comfortable or not really interesting for me. It was everything I do not want yet it’s what I need – that now I am sure of.

 

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My brand new eyes is giving me new perspective and new lights, not much brighter but factual and not blinding. This is me now, not that I know what that actually means.

I am no longer the same person and I am genuinely happy now.

I feel free and I feel like everything is possible.

I like it, I really do. It’s the first time I actually like myself though I am still trying to love the parts of me which are not beautiful.

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I used to believe I will grow up and change the world, even just a little of it. I was under the impression that wearing your heart on your sleeve is the only way to truly live as I want to fight the notion that we should be careful and that we shouldn’t trust the people around us.

Guess what? I still believe the same thing, but this time I believe am much smarter than the girl who thought she could fight with her heart alone. You are more than just your heart, you are more. You are your brain, your soul and your body. I think it’s time we use it wisely 😉

 

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Shoot location: 7Twenty7 American Diner
Personal

I am all about the New Year!

Who doesn’t love new beginnings?

I love the fact that after 365 days we are always given exactly just like that. I know it’s quite late since it’s almost three weeks since the new year begun. Personally, a lot has changed in my life. I quit my job, for the best, and I’ve started hanging out with people again. I am fighting my way into the horizon of my anxiety and I am telling you, it’s not easy. I always wanted to start a new blog again, one where it’s hopeful and just me. My last blog was so depressing that when I opened it again, I cringed.

Fire & Wanderlust

I have always been fascinated by fire and if I will be given the chance to choose a power, it would be fire. I am not exactly a warm person, mind you. I am not good with emotions but I think I would fare in writing about it. I love being passionate and just basically be “on fire” about what drives me alive. Also, I relate to my favorite book character named Aelin Galathynius (the book is Throne of Glass and it’s awesome!) who is also called Fireheart and the name stuck in my head!

I haven’t been to a lot of places, but I am determined to broaden and tick off my travel checklist this year and to explore by being present and just writing my thoughts.

Basically, this blog is all about me and who I want to be. Nothing gets realer than that, don’t you think? So, let’s start 2018 now, shall we? 🙂

 

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